A better comparison would be a woman abandoning her child in a shelter, etc- and while Im happy there is an option for truly desperate people (who often have major issues, mental illness, abuse, etc), I do think that doing that rather than going through a traditional adoption channel is a pretty scummy thing to do. I dont think a relationship with the other woman will work but at the same time Id run from a man who wants nothing to do with their own child. I disagreed with a lot of your comments but I still enjoyed them. Susie can do what she wants but he wants nothing to do with it. I asked him why and never got a response back, ever. SweetsAndBeats Oh, really? but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along Im sorry, but sex creates children. Hell pay for it but wants absolutely nothing to do with it. I believe the definition of an immature asshole is a 40-year-old man who wont own up to his responsibility to be a father to the baby he had equal part in creating. When you have a child with someone you will have to deal with them FOREVER. There is no 100 percent way to prevent pregnancy. April 9, 2012, 1:10 pm. Are you kidding? Thank God for the laws in place protecting children against men like you. Its probably best hes not in the kids life anyway. landygirl Run like the wind. 2.
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant. What should we do? His utter failure to own up to his actions is appalling. He ordered her to get an abortion? Are sued for child support. He actually did believe he was the dad, which means he actually did cheat with this other woman. female
April 10, 2012, 7:25 pm. If I ever get pregnant and the dude wants nothing to do with the child, I will not force him. Both a man and a woman are needed to create a baby. They were broken up so he had no obligation to the LW. But not usually. LW, take a step back and think about what you would tell one of your girlfriends in a similar situation. When I was on the pill, my ex boyfriend STILL used condoms to make sure it was safe. God, Im so glad someone else thought of that word when reading this letter because Ive used that word exactly three times in my life as an insult, and yet I couldnt quit thinking it. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have. April 9, 2012, 5:17 pm. Its not a secret that it works that way in our society. April 9, 2012, 6:39 pm, Oh, please. I find it enjoyable to do because it makes him happy, and it turns me on to get him so turned on. If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. But its her body Well, department of labor clearly shows that statistically a man in a low-paying job is far more likely to die in a workplace accident over the course of 18 years than a woman over a normal pregnancy.
April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. We decided to get back together as we cant bear life without each other. And finally , yes, I do think he should have some right to what happens to that pregnancy, and yes I do think that trapping someone by getting pregnant is repulsive, and so yes, I can understand his anger at the woman if that is what is happening. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A
The point you bring up here is why I cant wrap my head around one night stands. Scenario 2. The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. However, hey, feel free to pretend its still 2000 BC. No, honey, I am not and I dont believe HmC is either. yes he doesnt seem like much a catch, but to say he exposed her to STDs! is a stretch. She Left Me.PRANK WARS - BF VS GFWatch until. I dont feel like his decision to not be involved in his biological childs life makes him an immature asshole. Have an abortion or Ill be furious = Have fries with that or Ill be furious > Psycho. As much as men have some inherent advantages, women do as well, and one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met. bittergaymark Not only was she on the pill, but he wore a condom!
What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze Why, my God, you could have hit a chid running out in the street. Remember we are hearing all this second or third hand. No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. Its not anyones fault, theres no one to blame. He was instrumental in the whole zygote creating you know that thing that turned into a baby Whats that? Share your opinions and thoughts below! A scumbag? April 9, 2012, 7:25 pm, I agree. But I believe theres a definite difference. haha I agree. You want to work on your social skills. He wants to get back with the LW (again, apparently) John Rohan It makes sense that she would do everything she could to convince us that this other woman wanting to keep the child is the worse thing ever because theyre obviously meant to be and this childs existence is a testament to the fact that their (former and/or current) relationship wasnt/isnt perfect. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. First things first, get yourself to a doctor or Planned Parenthood or somewhere like that and get tested for STDS! And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. April 10, 2012, 6:11 pm. They shouldnt just play house for the sake of the kid. But still. Just reduces the chances. You have a lot of personal issues to deal with, little boy. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. Why are you so obsessed with sex? How does your law make this fair? Hi. He apologized for not telling me sooner. Is it 100% fair to men or women? He knows how to make a baby, and he knows how to avoid making a baby. . I wont go into the reasons they came to this, (very long, and quite personal, story), but its entirely possible that if a women gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby though the father would prefer she abort, he DOES have the option to waive his parental rights and duties to the child and thus not be legally responsible for child support. You and the baby are the victims. Of course it is, but we have no way of knowing that the other woman was lying about that. P.P.S. 1. having sex with someone you dont know that well. And he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. Theres a fun scenario. She wants to live in a dorm with her friends and no way is she missing weeks of school to give birth. I dont think you are right to try to make him stay with her. Thats what responsible men who want to have sex with women and dont want children do. Knowing him for two minutes is not significant at all to a woman who feels that abortion is morally wrong for religious reasons. Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! This is a process and it's got a lot of risks. However, not once did I say anything like what youre implying. I try t,o help because I remember when I was young. At the time, he said he would wait years for me - until he could be with me. Why? Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. But I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable.. ago. April 9, 2012, 11:40 am. You dont really get to have a say in this situation, but encourage your boyfriend to have a relationship with this child. Imagine the following scenarios. Its still good advice if the letter his fake, actually, since there certainly are people in this situation. I dont think Ive ever seen you swear on here before! The misogyny is the implication that this somehow makes it easy for a woman. While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. And he has agreed to support the child financially. And I think the LW is just as much of an ass or whatever other word you want to insert as the bf in question. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, LW? Thats the difference. But, now hes faced with the unwanted consequences of that choice, and while its unfortunate, its how life works. In a feature I call Your Turn, in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, Im presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. IF men want to engage in condomless sex and want a choice (which women DONt have btw, we dont TELL our bodies when we want our eggs fertilized and when we dont, I WISH we could that would be such an intelligent design feature!) At this point, she doesnt even know for certain that the woman is pregnant or that its his child. Seriously, doesnt anyone get off on oral anymore? April 9, 2012, 1:13 pm. April 9, 2012, 12:39 pm. Sure sure you have sex, theres always the possibility of a child. He didnt want a baby? So, you go back to where you started, and then he hits you with another bombshell. It has nothing to do with the man. Men AND women have walked away from children. Whether this guy decides to be a part of this childs life or not is up to his conscience. Their choice, honey. Like being pregnant is easy. Steve Kellmeyer Who knew? Have whatever sex you want. After a breakup, Bird said, some people just need "an emotional cutoff and want to remove all evidence of their ex from their life.". My ex-boyfriend had apparently broken up with a girl who was a.. You had no say in the matter.. wife pays debt sex video. Its always someone elses fault. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. Example: Couple agrees to the set-up evanscr05s friend did. And, yes, he should be taking precautions against STDs because even if he never gets back with the LW, is he going to remain celibate for the rest of his life? He is placing all of the blame of this two minute relationship that resulted in a baby on the women, and that is pretty shitty. Also, at least here in this state, its not in any way an easy thing to get out of paying, and I think its relatively difficult to avoid paying child support unless youre essentially a transient or if the woman doesnt make much of an effort to get support. Its wrong and its not fair, and thats what should be changed, not the fact that a man who voluntarily engaged in activities that everyone knows could result in pregnancy can *gasp* be sued for child support for a kid he doesnt really want. April 9, 2012, 3:01 pm, Well, I have to just give the opposite side of this that 1. at least he plans to financially provide for the child and 2. if someone is so adament about not wanting children as he seems to be, then all are probably better off giving the child to the mother only which is a hell of a lot like adoption. It hurts me that he will have to go through his first child experience with someone else while I watch. depressed, got back together, money. I am sorry, but that is just dumb. THERE IS NO CHILD AT CONCEPTION. How very astute of you to notice the fundamental difference between the genders. Francine . We tried to explain to my friend who isnt a fan how giving a blow job can make you feel empowered and sexy at the same time. I got angry because it's something he should have told me.
Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. 4) The boyfriend, especially given his age (and that this cant be blamed on youthful impulsiveness), doesnt look the best in this scenario. He has an obligation to any future sex partner to keep himself clean. Man, I was having a crappy morning and now I feel SO MUCH BETTER, because Im not this LW. female
It doesnt involve any weird semi-involvement; but rather a clean break for the child and a chance to build a happy, loving life with a set of great parents. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. Medications interfere with birth control, not taking it at the same time and whole other host of reason why she could have legitimately gotten pregnant on birth control. Or that the person youve known for two minutes and are now having sex with is being honest with you about anything. Addie Pray April 10, 2012, 6:21 pm, And yet men still keep having sex with us. He says he told her hes not happy about this pregnancy and didnt want a baby and asked her to abort as he was 40 years old. He said theres only a chance. These are not discussions about angels dancing on the head of a pin there is a child that needs financial support during his/her life. He says he'll do it after the first trimester as the girl's pregnancy is prone to miscarriage. So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum? Why do you think that is? Because last I checked, saying dramatic things like we cant bear to live without each other was reserved for 16-year-old fans of poorly-written vampire romances. Hes so full of sh*t, I bet his eyes are brown. I believe I saw the C-word used at least once. Not necessarily. No loss there. I dont owe them a relationship just because we have the same DNA. landygirl I do not think he has a duty to be there for the child he never wanted and made it known he did not want to have with time to do something about it. When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. I dont believe in forcing people to become parents either.
Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. Oh thank you thank you thank you! The woman also gets to choose to keep the baby if she wants (even against his wishes), and gets the added benefit of forcing an unwitting and unwilling father into servitude for what is completely and totally her choice by your own admission. well, then Id run screaming the other way. April 9, 2012, 3:33 pm, bittergaymark Everyone seems to assume he didnt use a condom, but nothing in the letter says that. In fact, step aside from the situation (my advice to you). When I could just as easily say, Its so easy for men to disappear after a pregnancy and never give financial support to their child.. Everyone knows it. I dont see anything wrong with his points. Shall I and all the other taxpayers? Also, I dont understand why you spend your whole letter insulting her instead of him. If youre going to have sex with someone you are not in a relationship with, be prepared that a *pregnancy* might happen. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. It is duplicated below. Well said I was like, is this letter for real? the whole time I was reading it. Jess of CGW If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life. React. Steve Kellmeyer Thats reality. He ejaculates thats it. What kind of 40 year old cant live without their SO. Let me repeat myself IT IS NOT A LOTTERY WIN. I think the LW comes across as bitter and resentful and would rather blame the other woman, making her out to be the villain, than to admit that she and her ex really might not belong together. Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. Girls can get caught up in emotions and run wild with feels sometime devilish innocent Established Member Established Members My Ex-girlfriend says she misses me. Chuck Pelto Hey, honey, I thought you had control over your bodies? He hides me as well as the other girl. He delivered, at her request, one-half of a set of DNA blueprints. February 6, 2017, 4:03 pm, Simalar to me.. we fell inlove from schol at 15 we kiss at 16 sex at 21 we separated for 5mths he saw another girl and she lie told him she was pregnant..she moved in his parents house..i said goodbye he came begging me ..he dont love her.tears tears .. the next month her period came her lie came in the openshe never left ..i have since moved on ..25yrs to dated he still beging me to come backi played a game with him recently ..i said i would leave my husband would u leave your wifeto be with mehe said yes yesdo u have money to buy a house for me like what u did for her.the silence was deafing.i hang up the phone.. playersmove on leave him alone, lets_be_honest My boyfriend and I split up for two months. Its a crappy scenarios but shit happens, and theres really nothing YOU can do about it. Even SCOTUS pointed that out. He should have taken more precautions. Does that change your opinion? -Exposed you to STIs by going bareback with a woman he cant stand and hes known for two minutes and then coming back to you November 19, 2012, 3:02 pm. Baby, our apartment isnt big enough for a baby. He seems to be playing into a lot of her fantasies, plus providing a ready excuse why hell never have any money. So deal with that. On a side note: If the adoption had not occured and she went after him for support, he could contest it by stating that it would be detrimental to the child as he has no fatherly relationship with the child and introducing such a relationship so many years later would be harmful. TheQuietOne lets_be_honest If the woman wants to abort, then she can, but thats a decision she has to make because its happening inside her own body. I ended up feeling sorry him, and I started talking to him again, but2 weeks laterhe said the pregnant girl was threatening to hurt herself and he was going to be with her and that he cared too much about her and his unborn child to not try to work it out. Temperance Because of my family not being to fond of him we broke it off and i was depressed for along time. You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape.. As for you LW, Im not even sure exactly what youre asking. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. Add your answer to this question! If a woman has sex with a man she should be prepared for the fact that it could result in her under going a medical proceedure, be it an abortion or childbirth. Does he think hes too old to be a dad? And as far as that man saying that he wants nothing to do with the woman or THE BABY shame on him. He could be upset (and who wouldnt be) if he didnt want it but she was keeping it anyway. Why is he such a scummy, awful human being because hes angry with the way this has worked out that hell be on the hook for another human being until who knows when?
The Truth About Rebound Relationships | Psychology Today Going through the comments here, right on cue, I already record no less than five times that the boyfriend is called scum or scumbag. Apparently the LW couldnt trap him either since they broke up. Abstinence is 100% effective, just saying. Its not that fucking hard. female
The 16 & Pregnant cast member slash Teen Mom 2 firebrand is many things, but she has never been lucky in love. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. The you made your choice when you had sex argument goes both ways. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. He willingly engaged in sex (apparently without a condom) with a woman he knew for two minutes. He says he cant stand her? So, if she opted for an abortion and he was furious with her for not keeping the baby, would he be scum? Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences? If you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. Im going out on a very weak limb to say that youre probably a better person than this letter which means youre definitely too good for him. I dont feel anyone should be forced to be a part of a childs life. BTW, has he heard about condoms?? I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. By having sex you are saying that the woman might get pregnant and you are willing to deal with it if that is the case. 6napkinburger All I could think about when I read this letter was what an awful situation that child is going to be exposed to, through no fault of his/her own. She wants to abort Jimmys baby. I told her if its not about the kids, dont text him. He says he wants me, but Im afraid if she keeps trying to get back with him she will succeed one day. Reviewing this the next day, Im even less convinced that the letter is real Id be happy for signs otherwise but assuming it is, thats good advice. Iwannatalktosampson And frankly, the more money and less contact the baby gets from your boyfriend, the better off he or she will be (not that s/he has much of a chance, given the nest of grown-ups s/hes coming into). Secondly, it is a medical procedure. female
I hope you make sure he gets tested for STIs before you sleep with him again. Be a grownup, decide if this relationship is worth the less perfect, more dramatic parts, and act accordingly. As far as your relationship with him. Child support, such as it is, is frequently used as stealth spousal support. The outlet revealed that Tristan's third child, a baby boy, is due on December 3 . Steve Kellmeyer And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother). I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. Thanks for proving you and your ilk are out to entrap men to sustain your lifestyle by dropping as many babies as you can..and living on welfare checks honest people pay for..SLUT! He is doing alot better. Its not the mans moral fault that he didnt think he would be roped into parenthood by a singular sexual encounter when he was told she was on the Pill. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. April 10, 2012, 9:34 am. Women have complete reproductive autonomy, but as far as I know it is impossible to become impregnated without a man somewhere in the equation. He can bang the neighbor, the lunch lady, and his friendly neighborhood bartenderwhoever. Actually, pulling out has a 4% failure rate versus 2% for condoms for perfect use. The carpenter asks his brother to impregnate his wife via IVF using the carpenters sperm. You are being played with a capital P! This is a man that has never stopped cheating on you. There is a massive difference between wanting a pregnancy to be terminated and deciding to have nothing to do with a child who has been born. People are calling the LW names (harsh names to be sure) based on the way she is reacting in this letter. Thats all I can really offer. Susie and Jimmy find themselves in the same predicament only Jimmy is thrilled because hes enlisting and being deployed overseas.
Dream about boyfriend got another girl pregnant - Dreams`opedia Fyrebyrd2 AndreaMarie We were on and off for few months, and during that time we both dated other people. I am willing to give this guy a teeney, tiny shred of doubt that he is in shock and is responding poorly, but that he could be a decent guy who will come around wants he gets his head around the situation. It means he or she will know their father, in a sense, and will also have the opportunity to believe that their father just simply didnt want to have anything to do with them. "Cry, vent and . So, Chuck, despite the fact that no one is denying the fact that there are some people out there trying to game the system, Chuck, the fact that shes pregnant is equally their responsibility. Get tested for an std too because your love obviously did not use a condom. Hes obligated to financially support the baby, which he is willing to do. And without condoms?! Exactly where is there a grown-up here? April 9, 2012, 5:46 pm. SweetsAndBeats It is possible to get pregnant on the pill if you dont take it at the same time everyday, so maybe use backup protection if youre fucking someone you dont know? Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. I showed up late to the hot debate in the comments (damn you work lol), but to put this in perspective for me, I was born to relatively young parents and now at 25, my dad is a few years older then this gem of a man in this letter. He has a responsibility to the baby, but thats as far as it goes. Not in the 50s or 60s and maybe not as late as the 80s but today the father gets joint custody. The fact that only the woman has the abortion option is biology, not anyones opinion. Maybe the man in me is coming out today, but in a time where all you hear about is the War on Women and how dare any man tell a woman what they can and cannot do with their bodies that anyone on here can say this man doesnt have a right to do whatever he pleases with his body. Scan this QR code to download the app now. By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. But to me, it sounds like youre misdirecting your anger. No it isnt. Even if you wore a condom. Holy hell, this guy sounds like a dick. I dont think the actual equality is as you think it is, but even if I agree that it is, it has nothing to do with what happens early on in a pregnancy. Sue Jones My issue is even, at the very least, if you dont want to wear a condom.then pull out!!! The child support goes to support the child. It doesnt have to toss a ball with you to help with your rehab or take pictures of you with your new arm. April 10, 2012, 7:02 pm. Believe it or not, but a bedpartner with a scintillating personality is not a prerequisite for the male orgasm: its possible to have and enjoy sex with somebody who you nevertheless regard as entirely obnoxious and devoid of LTR potential. Every woman who has given a child up for adoption is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You, Chuck, seem to think that this means that all women do that. This isnt about a child who has been born and who has needs. April 10, 2012, 6:52 pm. He doesnt want to be with you. I dont know why you dont understand that people think this guy is a scum, because he has said that he is going to be a deadbeat dad, and is pretty much taking no responsibility for what happened. The primary relationship in someones life is allowed to (and should) remain the primary relationship, even after the later appearance of children. April 10, 2012, 6:32 pm. Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. I just found out that someone he had slept with before we got back together is pregnant. It's been really painful for me. (i.e. But it doesnt matter what you think of her or her decision to carry your boyfriends baby. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. April 10, 2012, 5:59 pm. I dont have an opinion on your status of human or troll via DW forums. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. And if so, Im ready. It belongs to the child and the law is concerned with ensuring the best interests of the child above all else.
Oh, and I really dislike when every accidental pregnancy letter we get on here because a huge fest for people throwing around you were too stupid to use a condom or you didnt try to prevent pregnancy at all, when we really have NO information regarding what precautions they did or did not take. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. And should. However, its your choice whether or not to get back together with him. He has made it clear that he wants a pregnancy to be terminated. Yes, it would be nice if he were eager to become a parent.