What is BBC Future? I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. She reciprocated. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. Patricia Velasquez. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" 2. This post was actually very helpful for me! When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 11 Steps to Be More Proud of Yourself - Happier Human 9. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Health Gap. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. However what messages might our children actually hear? Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. . The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. How do you feel about, "I'm proud of you"? - reddit Better Responses 2023. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. "How I do love you!" 12. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. 20 Other Ways to Say "I'm Proud of You" with Sincerity Sajeev Rajan Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. Stay in the know when we release new content! Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. 03:48. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Looking for some extra money from your parents? Youre like my sister from another mother. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. The Problem with 'I'm So Proud of You' (And What to Say Instead) - HuffPost But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. 8. I admire your ability to ___________. It does not take it away from them. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Here subject and object are the same person. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. They didn't have to do that. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. The 9 Best Things to Say to Someone Who's Lost Weight - Life by Daily Burn SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. Thank you for starting this. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. He gets a "that's nice". He remembers things that you tell him. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". What, do you really? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 2. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. How to Let Your Children Know You Are Proud of Them - Verywell Family I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. 11. "I wish I had met you. Compare: "Oh bear!" Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? First, he is probably higher status / higher power. "I know how you feel". I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. A strong argument is a solid one. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. 1. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. 4. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. "I know you have a lot going on . The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. This is a very interesting discussion for me. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. So happy for us! 3. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. 30 Ways to Say I'm Proud of You to Someone Special "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. They mean the exact opposite of what you think. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. How to Respond When Someone Makes a Racist Comment So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. I'm so proud of your painting!" I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. They just say it. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. All rights reserved. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. Fascinating post in two regards. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. That way, all they have to do is show up. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. 2014, 2016, 2019. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. "I had no idea". It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. How to Tell Someone You Are Proud Of Them Quotes(Top 18) - Mind Blood We had a really nice time. 16. Key takeaways on Americans' views of guns and gun ownership I dont think there is a neutral position. 3. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. But this seems less common. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. You look so much better!". The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. It remains condescending and arrogant. Thanks for making us proud. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth.
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