And I thought, well, he'll think I'm nuts. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange. Probably the Ladies Aid, maybe, you know, the little group that got together. Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder, music from Jessica Hopper. After they were born, she had written as a Christmas letter and and said she'd always like to keep in touch with Susan because the girls were so much like sisters. The Millers didn't have much money and they might not have been able to afford the health care otherwise. So then you had to go through the register to get to the bathroom. And there were a lot of kids too. And as that baby, Sue, grew up, the one thing that puzzled Kay was that Mrs. Miller, whom she knew only vaguely from church, seemed so interested in Sue. I thought that was strange. She didn't grow up with Sue, after all, and she's not actually related to her or to her kids. Because he told me, you know, well, I don't care what anybody says from as far as I'm concerned, you're not really Ruth's sister. She was guarded. And at any point during this time, does it cross your mind? It's this American Life. And Mary Miller explains why she was tormented by her secret but unable for decades to share it. And Susan always had said to me, Mom, why didn't you have any more children after I was born? How are you going to think? And basically and this is going to sound like kind of. Over the years, the thought that she might be someone else's child festered in the back of Marti's mind. And I think he honestly never thought it was a possibility. The other problem for Marti was how to approach the McDonalds, her biological parents. And she'd keep us laughing. And I was just horrified. For starters, Mrs. Miller didn't contact Marti and Sue at the same time. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, which she also thought was kind of weird. At last, Mrs. Miller felt free to act. And it was then that I started thinking, oh, my gosh, you know, my life would have been so different. They are more like I am. He told her that he thought it was God's will that this had happened. 24 Jun . No, no, no. [1] NBC aired the production as a two-part miniseries over two consecutive nights on . So then she found out she had all of these, um, brothers and sisters and the phone calls were fewer. Yes. Well, why don't we just ask Mom and Dad about this. And yeah, I think it might be. No. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that we're telling me, hey, I'm your brother. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, you know, I can't think about this, because it'll drive me crazy if I do. I love you both. But there's no question things have gotten better between the two girls and their moms. And yes, Sue was different from the rest of the family in certain ways, dark and tall and skinny in a family that was none of those. Norbert and I had a good time while we were together. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. You know, when she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the fiftieth anniversary party of the McDonald's, Marty's biological parents. And when I think of my mother, I think of her. Mary Miller is 96 now, she lives by herself in the country, her house is filled with the remnants of her and Norbert's life together in the church. I don't like to make waves, I guess you might say. It took Kay an awful long time. He thought she really dreamed this up in her head and. So instead of going in the hall and going out, we would crawl through the register. At the hospital in 1951, Kay McDonald was told that she'd given birth to a nine-pound, four-ounce baby. One of the toughest things both Marty and Sue have to deal with is logistical. A small thing, but it was a big thing to me. There was nothing I didn't have anything to do with it. That was her idea. This is a house with a lot of rules. And when Bob found out about Marti, found out that she was his biological sister, he called her right away in California. Another 2.5 million people download the weekly podcast. Anyway, here's the story. It was a different life. Your service title . All Votes Add Books To This List. Dear Martha and Sue, have you ever suspected or been told that we took home the baby that belonged to Kay and Bob McDonald and they later took home the baby that belonged to us? Occasionally, she'd break down and cry. But Sue says there are a lot of things she missed out on, too, by not growing up at the Millers, the family did all kinds of hobbies, painting and rock polishing and 3D photography. And now she wanted everyone's role to be clear. It didn't bother me, because I couldn't see any merit to it. I didn't get picked. Jun, 05, 2022 Switched at Birth is an American teen/family drama television series that premiered on ABC Family on June 6, 2011, at 9:00 ET/PT. It's available wherever you get your podcasts and. I just couldn't do it. When Kay's church was celebrating its 150 year anniversary, for instance, Kay was chairperson for the event. I'm Ira Glass. She focused on the facts of the situation, maybe hoping she could fix things by simply setting the record straight. And that's where it might have ended if it hadn't been for Mrs. Miller's letter a decade later. It's gripping, a real 'page turner', and it's all true. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet until the day, more than 40 years later, when she decided to tell both daughters what happened. Fiction featuring this soap operaish plot :] flag. You know, I think I went into a kind of a depression about similar to what I did when my mother died. I don't know why they didn't say. My name is Bob McDonald. The church was the center of their lives and the family never went on vacation or even to the movies. She's ours now. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make a child is a child. The one-hour scripted drama is set in the Kansas City metropolitan area, and revolves around two teenagers who were switched at birth and grew up in very different environments: one in the affluent suburb of Mission Hills, Kansas, and the other in working-class East . K was angry that Mrs. Miller hadn't corrected things back in 1951, that Mrs. Miller had hijacked her life in this way, and she was angry that Mrs. Miller put Sue in the difficult position of having to break news like this to her parents and angry that now the Millers were asking so much of Sue's time and attention, it got so bad she had to go on medication for high blood pressure. During this time, it was Marty's dad, Reverend Miller, who reassured her they started talking on the phone a lot. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. And so, of course, he was trying to get me to say that I had forgiven them. Marty shared a bed with her sister Faith and had to crawl through this vent to get to the bathroom at night because faith would block the doorway to the hall. Reverend Miller. I had six little children to take care of. Her name's also Sue. Her mother ran a disciplined household. And why ruin all that? Four Ages in Life. And so I don't think that was too well received when I mentioned that. Before when I'd asked you if you thought it was God's will, you said yes. She was nervous, studious, serious, but it didn't seem so strange in junior high. And the daughter, bear with me, ended up marrying Sue's brother Bob. Reverend Miller had once been pastor there, so he and Mrs. Miller were invited. And this whole crop of people knew, but never said anything to Kay McDonald. Kay McDonald began getting notes and phone calls from Reverend Miller. I didn't it didn't bother me because I just thought. And I thought she even walks like Mary. And to you, Martha. And I'm really like that too. What does she think of me? 3.75 avg rating 17,692 ratings. He had a band. It was an odd strategy, if you can even call it that. At first, they refused to believe her, but then she told them about the blood tests, finally Sue handed over all the letters that she had and sent them in the past month, letters telling them how much she loved them and how much she wanted to stay their daughter. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonald's. So I did think, yeah, you know, she's she's going to know that's not my daughter and she's going to and she's going to get this popular, Marty, who's so fun loving and and looks like her. It wasn't their place to bring up such a thing, especially with no way to know if it was true for sure, What that meant was that after Kay McDonald finally found out the truth in 1994, people started coming up to her, in church mostly, casually mentioning that they'd known about it all along. It's before kindergarten, so it's OK. It was good for us to laugh. I didn't want to have a disagreement like that with him, because that would have ruined our marriage. When she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the 50th anniversary party of the McDonalds, Marti's biological parents. I mean, what was your reaction? The two moms and the two daughters who were affected more than anyone. 7/13 - This is the story of two baby girls who were given to the wrong mothers. But even she never divulged the secret to Bob or any of the McDonalds. So she said unless there's a real reason that you need to know that, I don't recommend that you dig into it. She was 98 years old. 5 seasons available (103 episodes) Sixteen years ago, one mistake changed two families forever when two newborns were switched at birth. She'd also moved out of Wisconsin, in her case to Southern California. When Marti showed up at the house for brunch the day after the wedding, she couldn't have seemed more at home with the family that she didn't meet until her 40s. That's what I was thinking. Norbert and I had a good time while we were together, but. The nurse weighed the baby and must have left her in the delivery room until after Kay's baby was born. He, in fact would call me and tell me, I don't care what she says, you're still our kid and I'm glad we had you. What if the McDonalds had just taken me home and I'd grown up in the house with my biological parents and my biological brother, who would I be? I was shy or I was whatever. She says, I was pregnant and you are my child. I was sure then that there had been a mix-up. Bay meets Emmett outside a college party she got dragged into when he alerts her not to be in that neighborhood late at night. Oh, really good for us. I think what we do is pretty much our own doing. And my mother's like, what happened to my life? So you fully appreciate the parents who raised you. Why did she listen to her husband back in 1951? It was all pretty straightforward. That wasn't something that they would have done because athletics was really not a value to them at all. Rest, fluids, medication to lower the fever. I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. I feel like I should have made a wrong into a right. Why did you listen to her husband back in 1951? When I first talked to Mrs. Miller about what had happened when Mary was born, she told me pretty much the same story she told in her letter, how she knew as soon as she got home and weighed the baby that the nurses had made a mistake. She said, well, if you were to find out that that these parents that you have are not your parents and the other family doesn't want to have anything to do with you, how are you going to feel? This doctor had been kind to us and good to us. I would just never go down that road again, that I was not going to just not going to go there. At just 20, Rita knew what she was in for. In 1994, Mary Miller wrote letters to Sue and Marti, confessing the secret she'd kept for 43 years: The daughters had been switched at birth and raised by the wrong families. So she said, well, if you were to find out that these parents that you have are not your parents and the other family doesn't want to have anything to do with you, how are you going to feel? She remembers washing and drying all the dishes by the time she was five or six. Part of me really doesn't want to know because I think I would feel left out of something. She had jokes every day. They just didn't talk about these kinds of things. It's before kindergarten, so it's OK. Yeah. That was a hard thing to hear. First, she wanted to be absolutely sure it was true. And she said, you really need to consider how that's going to change your family for you and how it's going to change relationships for you. She figured if she could simply get Kate a look at Marti Caywood figure things out, the evening just ended up being kind of baffling for everyone involved. Bay grew up in a wealthy family while Daphne, who lost her hearing as a child, was raised by a single mom in a working class neighborhood. The family did all kinds of hobbies, painting and rock polishing and 3D photography. If she still believes she's my sister, that's good. Because it was always just a rumor. This is Sue reading a letter she got some time ago from her newfound Miller sister, Faith. Back in 1994, this is back in the days when people still delivered big news to each other by mail to women who barely knew each other, Martha Miller and Susan McDonald got a letter from Martha's mom. I don't care whether my husband objected or not, I. I feel like I should have made it a wrong into a right. There's a lot of nervous laughter. Stereo. The next week, though, when Marty was visiting their mom, Mrs. Miller, she asked her about what Rudy had said. In the Miller household. In the episode, reporter Jake Halpern introduces us to a story of two baby girls who were accidentally . S1 E2 - American Gothic The parents navigate the new living situation; Daphne hangs out with Liam. The other daughter in this baby, Squidge Sue, who was born to Mrs. Miller, the one writing the letter but raised by Kay McDonnell. I remember talking to Mother about, you know, this is your blood daughter. Marti says her mom, Mrs. Miller, sees the world in black and white. Host Ira Glass introduces four characters: Kay McDonald, who raised a daughter named Sue, and Mary Miller, who raised a daughter named Marti. This summer, Bob McDonald's younger son got married in Prairie du Chien. Pudd'nhead Wilson. And they stay up till all hours of the night talking. They understand why she didn't speak out sooner. There was nothing any further. She said she wanted to call Marty first, but never managed to reach her as a result, Marty got worried about one of the most basic facts of her life, second hand, all the while waiting to hear directly from her mother. And I you know, I wanted he had a band, I mean. I guess you can understand. They understand why she didn't speak out sooner. She told me that she even started calling around trying to find someone who'd be a mother to her six children. That could be her. However, at. And but at the same time, she says when she refers to Kay, she says, well, your mother is doing such and such. That's good. She thought she was going to die. That wasn't something that they would have done, because athletics was really not of value to them at all. My mother didn't have enough milk for me. She told me that she even started calling around trying to find someone who'd be a mother to her six children. Never had that happen with any of our others. There were a few years there, where every chance my mother got, she made it perfectly clear that I was a McDonald. [1] She was guarded. I thought it was just Rudy being Rudy, you know, he just has crazy ideas and he dreams these things up. And he said, well, I wouldn't disgrace the doctor by telling him he gave us the wrong baby. And know you have mixed feelings about this revelation. But he had everybody convinced, I think, that it was God's will. Like Sue, though, Marty stuck out in her family for one thing, she was the only one who joked around, she says even now, the Millers can't tell when she's being ironic. He danced with everyone. My dad right there who looks happy. And yeah, I think it might be. Archive; Recommended; How to Listen; . Even if she could somehow convince everyone it was true. They were nice enough when she spoke to them on the phone, but they weren't exactly welcoming her into the family. The card was signed, from your other possible parents. But there's no question, things have gotten better between the two girls and their moms. Sue knew her mother had never been a big fan of the Millers ever since they met. They had dogs and raised angora rabbits. The sickness, she said, lasted for six or seven months. Mr. McDonald had a bad heart and she didn't know what the stress would do to him. They lived a short drive from each other's houses in Wauzeka and Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin. She even had the exact same oil painting hanging on her wall in California as they had in their living room, a landscape with trees and water. Sue now had four new sisters and two new brothers, and the Millers show her pictures of her other relatives. But she didn't call them right away. The way she pronounced her words were identical with the way my mother talked. The other woman reads, I had complete anaesthesia, so was asleep when our baby was born. I'm IRA Glass back next week with more stories. But it took a while for us to-- how are you going to think? Well, of course, we felt indebted to him for doing that. This brings us to Marti, the other baby in this baby switch. I was just not ever meeting their expectation of intellectualism. Music help from Jessica Hopper. You know, I I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch.